Too much
How much is too much?
This question has been haunting me since I was pregnant, looking at dream nurseries and million-dollar playthings for infants and toddlers, and trying to determine what we really needed prior to having this baby.
When Little Dude was very little, things were a bit more manageable. We took a stand in keeping his furnishings simple. We borrowed my friend’s bassinet for our room, bought a very basic crib from Ikea (well under $200 including a mattress), recycled my little sister’s dresser/changing table (thanks Mom, for the 500 coats of paint and the new hardware!) and otherwise tried to pick wisely for our other items. A lot of his clothing and toys came to us second-hand, and I’ve tried to pass on items, as he outgrows them.
As Little Dude gets older, his amount of stuff increases – especially in the realm of toys.
Prior to Christmas, the Hubby and I sorted toys, donating some and moving others. We tried to rid ourselves of toys Little Dude had outgrown, or was about to outgrow, toys that were duplicates, and toys that just weren’t used as much.
Now I wonder if we should have gotten rid of more.
We are blessed with family and friends, and so many of them love Little Dude. However, we may be a bit too blessed and I’m thinking we should share the blessings. Little Dude is rolling in the toys – and none of them appear to be duplicates.
My child is happily be-bopping from one toy to the next, and is thrilled with each and every one of them. Do I take away items he appears to enjoy? Do I give away the toys he may not be using since he has newer ones, even though I know he probably will come back to those toys?
What is too much and how do I keep my child from having too much, so that he appreciates what he does have, and does know the importance of sharing with others?
The Hubby and I were talking, and neither of us remember having quite as many toys, when we were little. I’m just curious how other parents handle this…
I’m not a parent, as you know, but I can imagine this would be an area I would struggle with too. At this point in my life, I am very much trying to downsize and get by with less, so I think that feeling would probably carry over to my child’s “stuff” as well.
I had a friend who boxed up half of her children’s toys and let them play with half. Then about 2-3 months later, when they started to get bored with things, she would switch the toys out. They loved it — it was like getting new things all over again.
Yeah, I am SO agreeing with debra here. This weekend, when you have a chance and he’s asleep, take 2/3 of the toys and hide them. Rotate them every so often. TRUST ME ON THIS.
As for the future, you know your gift-givers best. Would they be willing to get things like museum memberships? Movie tix to take Little Dude to see the newest flick? Something through Heifer International? Seriously, I’d buy a pig as a gift through HI. Well, maybe some chickens. Something out of the box as gifts for him. We finally started that this year. My parents got the boys/family a membership to the science museum in Denver. It has reciprocity with many museums nationwide, and we used it twice in Chicago; saved us a TON of money and more than paid for itself. And we haven’t even used it in Denver yet! LOL!
I agree with Debra and Jen. This is what I did with all three of my children and it worked very well.
You could do that or if all the gifts have not been opened you could exchange them for gift cards that could be used to purchase new items as he needs them throughout the year as his age and interests change.
I’m trying to get better about that myself… With 4 kids, it’s amazing how much stuff they can collect… That’s one of the reasons we had that big garage sale last summer.
Stuff. Yeah. BTDT. Now you know why I didn’t save any of it for you.
I did the boxing up of toys and bringing them out at another time. Their favorites I kept out. It worked when they were little.
Everybody else beat me to the suggestion of boxing up some of the toys and rotating them throughout the year. It’s an idea that works.
Maybe as he tires of or outgrows certain toys you could let him give them to a thrift store or some other place that has many children that would enjoy them.
I don’t have much advice to share on this topic yet, but I like the idea of boxing and rotating. Binkie got his share of toys, but prior to Christmas, I really didn’t have many toys for him. I may need this advice after his birthday though!
We always sit down with the kids and decide what to donate every few months. I aim to have “zero accumulation growth”. If there’s a new toy that takes a lot of room, something else has to go. And if there’s something they are particularly attached too, but don’t really use anymore, we take a photo or video of it as a keepsake (takes up no room!). They’ve been used to this routine now for a while and it has definitely helped keep the clutter and the stuff down.
my sister-in-law does a variation of the store and rotate. she puts a bunch of the toys (unopened) if possible away. her babe would forget. then throughout the year he would periodically get a new toy. when he got a new toy through the year, he picks one to give to kids who have less. he learns from a young age to donate and sort his own toys.
she is now double challenged as this year she has two — a 3 1/2 year old and a 5 month old!! twice the gifts. at least they are both boys and she can hand down toys but still, some people just give too much at the holidays.
some would consider me a bad aunt — i get them each one toy and not a big toy and that is it. they just do not need more.
for birthdays we do adventures but for christmas, gifts.
we do the same thing with clothes as we do with the kids toys. when you get something new, you donate something.
So many of you have recommended the rotating of items, and I’ve had others mention that as well. What we have done instead, at the moment, is make certain toys exclusive to certain areas of the house.
Eventually, when he is older and I think he can play with less supervision, his toy room will be in our loft area of the house. Currently, we have moved a lot of the bigger toys (kitchen set, talking chair, Fisher Price sets, etc.) up there, and we go up once a day for a while, so he can play with those toys. Other toys are downstairs toys, and at the moment, they are in our living room. As he gets older, and we move the rocking chair out of his bedroom, we’ll move those toys into his room. Sometimes I rotate if a toy is upstairs or down.
The bigger trucks are for outdoors only, so they are living in the garage for the winter.
Hopefully, any train tracks/race tracks will eventually move to the basement.
It just seems like a lot, since I know I didn’t recall having this many toys throughout my house when we (my sisters and I) were little. I could be wrong, though…
I am trying to do a bit of what Angela/Mommy Bytes does and what storm recommended, too, by donating as we receive new items. And I’m trying to get Little Dude involved in a bit of that, by having him help hand-off toys. I’ve also managed to sell a few on craigslist, which I may continue to try for the bigger toys as he outgrows them.
Thanks everyone! Now how much is TOO much when it comes to toys?!?!?
This is something I’m REALLY curious to see how we deal with. First of all, our house is teeny-TINY so we won’t be able to FIT a bazillion toys into it!
But this baby is going to be a first grandchild for BOTH of our mom’s (not to mention a 1st great-grandchild as well!!!) so I know he or she will most likely be spoiled by all of our family. I guess we’ll just end up doing what you and your hubby have done…donate the gently used toys as he or she outgrows them (or doesn’t play with them). We’ll see how it goes! LOL
Oh the fun things you will have to look forward to, April. And yes, this will be one of them.
Our children always have too many toys but we don’t fret. We just donate them when they got tired of them. Eventually it will slow down. We are fortunate that even thought our children received many toys they didn’t grow up materialistic.
I try to purge toys that are outgrown around holidays (which you have done). But with 3 kids…it doesn’t get much better. The older kids stuff are now mostly relegated to their rooms. If it doesn’t fit anymore, time to clean things out. But, a lot of the bigger stuff that can get shared are in the basement. And Jack Jack has one box of toys in the living room. The rest of the house I try to maintain as toy free as possible.
Chris – Thank you for the reassurance that it will get better, and that a lot of toys does not equal a materialistic kid.
inthefastlane – I am totally on-board with trying to maintain a few “toy-free” zones in the house. Right now I feel like I’m stepping on, over or around a toy every time I turn around. It makes me slightly crazy.
Stopping by again to wish you a very happy new year! All the best to you and your family in 2009!